pen.books.and.scalpel

Ever since I caught him snooping on me, I have never been myself. I haven’t slept well for days, haven’t been paying attention to my studies, and always look around to ensure no one is watching me. I always watch over my window to confirm he hasn’t returned. I step out carefully, ensuring he isn’t around, and I have also changed my school schedule and return home early. Luckily, I haven’t spotted him anywhere around after that night. But can he still be watching me without coming to my notice? It is a worry that I am drowned in all the time.    It feels like mourning at home now that Ahmed bhai has left, and everyone sits there sulking, especially Aliza Bhabhi. Ma and Baba miss him and don’t miss a chance to talk to him over the phone. They are either talking about him to each other or talking to him over the phone. They almost have no time for us two girls at home. I often play excuses and stick inside my room to avoid immersing myself in their sorrow. Bhabhi must be feelin...

I sense the pessimistic air following me wherever I go. I have not been the same for a few months now. Christy has been plotting and executing targeted revenge activities against me. They were so subtle that no one else could have recognised them if not for me. I am not scared of her, though I am worried for myself. I shake my head to clear my thoughts and concentrate on some reading. I have a semester coming up, and if I do them well, I will open one door to my freedom. I have no idea how many of them are left before I can walk out peacefully.   The words in my book turn blur, and my head involuntarily bobs back and forth in the air. I try to concentrate but can't hold myself up. To rescue myself from falling into the black hole, I blink repeatedly and gaze at my window. If I keep staring at something outside, I might be able to bring myself back to my senses. I reach for the water pitcher near the windowsill, but that's when I catch something eerie behind the window. Someth...

I am not sure how to react exactly to her comment. She said, “Ooh, look at her distributing sweets for her brother’s wedding. Maybe she will treat us for hers soon too” and then fake laughed with the rest of them. Christy is not exactly my nemesis, neither she is my friend. We enjoy each other's company until we can no longer tolerate each other. Everyone in between is a noise.    “Oh, Christy! See who's talking. The one who couldn't convince her parents to attend a ‘friend’s’ family function,” I stress the word friend and draw quotation in the air with my fingers. “You know my sister-in-law is exactly like that. She couldn't convince her parents against this marriage.” I realise it's wrong to bring Aliza into our feud but now I find no other way out. “At this rate, you could turn into someone’s daughter-in-law soon too. Watch out,” I smirk, and her face turns ashen. That's exactly what I intend to see on that face.   The rest of them boo and her face turns ...

After a stretch of celebrations and ritual after ritual, the home is finally at peace. If this is what marriage is all about, I am deeply concerned. I want to stay clear that I am not interested in marriages and ceremonies. I am not made for it, and I must implant the idea in my parents’ hearts now and then.    Aliza is now a programmed machine at my home. I know her schedule by heart. When she wakes up, when she cooks, when she washes dishes and clothes, and when she finally rests. I can’t be this person when I grow up. I dream of reading more, travelling around the world, and making myself financially stable. Escaping this system is my plan. But will everyone around me let me live my life? I have no idea, but I will never stop working towards that goal.   I see Aliza look longingly at me as I pack my school bag. She has been throwing shady looks since she got to know I am getting back to school today. First, there was sadness in her eyes and then a bit of jealousy t...