A book that lives rent free forever in my head - A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara

As readers, we all have some books that we love, some we hate with all our might, some that are special to us and a few that are a little too unforgettable. The books' genres and names might differ, but the feelings are the same for all readers. So today, I decided to share with you all about a book that is just a little extra special than the rest of my most loved books. And if you know me from bookstagram, you might have guessed it right. It's 'A Little Life' by Hanya Yanagihara. 

ABOUT THE BOOK:

For those living under the rock and hearing about this book for the first time, here is a little synopsis of the story. This book is about four friends - Willem, Jude, JB and Malcolm who grow up together in New York after meeting through college. The dimensions of their relationships keep changing with each other over a while. It's a story of their haunting past, aspirations, challenges, bond, and love. Although the book revolves around the lives of the four friends, 75% of the book is more about Jude (Ah, my Jude!) and Willem.  

MY THOUGHTS ABOUT THE BOOK:

So, I am confused about where and how to begin briefing about my thoughts and love for this book. Neither the picture nor the words will do any justice to the beauty of this book - I realise that. I never thought I would love any fictional character as much as I love Jude. Even though most readers claimed this book was misery porn, something drew me to the story and the characters.

This book had some beautiful characters, and their stories were so heartbreaking that the pain hits and lingers deep in the bones. The writing is immensely beautiful, and Hanya seems to have extensive knowledge of every other thing that exists. She has described arts, architecture, films, the Asian background, food, medicine, law and so on. Many reviewers felt that this was not an ideal LGBTQ book for a starter. But I felt the reverse. It did fine for me.

I love, love, love Jude so much that whenever he was helpless, I just wanted to pick him up and run to safety. He became a part of my memory ever since, and there have been moments when I grieved Jude in real. Willem was my favourite part, and I love him wholeheartedly. There is simply no one like him. This book shattered my heart into a thousand little pieces such that no other melancholic affected me later on. It's been more than a couple of years since I read this, but I am still unable to get over it. I guess a part of me stayed with Willem and Jude as the book ended.

THE LINES I KEEP GOING BACK TO:

He steps back, still looking. In the painting, Willem's torso is directed toward the viewer, but his face is turned to the right so that he is almost in profile, and he is leaning towards something or someone and smiling. And because he knows Willem's smiles, he knows that Willem has been captured looking at something he loves, he knows Willem in that instant is happy. Willem's face and neck dominate the canvas and although the background is suggested rather than shown, he knows that Willem is at their table. He knows it from the way that JB has drawn the light and shadows on Willem's face. He has the sense that if he says Willem's name that the face in the painting will turn toward him and answer; he has the sense that if he stretches his hand out and strokes the canvas he will feel beneath his fingertips Willem's hair, his fringe of eyelashes.

But he doesn't do this, of course, just looks up at last and sees JB smiling at him, sadly. "The title card's been mounted already," JB says, and he goes slowly to the wall behind the painting and sees its title - "Willem Listening to Jude Tell a Story, Greene Street"-and he feels his beneath abandon him; it feels as if his heart is made of something oozing and cold, like ground meat, and it is being squeezed inside a fist so that chunks of it are falling, plopping to the ground near his feet.

TRIGGER WARNING: 

Having said all this, I would also like to add a note that it's not for everyone. The book discusses child abuse, domestic violence, masochism, suicidal thoughts, chronic disability and many more.

#penbooksandscalpel

This is a part of Blogchatter’s half marathon 2023