FOOD INVENTIONS THAT ARE AN OVERKILL

See, let's get it straight. I love experimenting with foods every now and then. I love myself some white sauce chicken, godhumai dosai (atta dosa) and chicken tikka biryani. However, there are certain limits to which inventions can be accepted. With the increasing number of food bloggers and online critiques, there has been increasing demand for originality and creativity in content, forcing certain members to commit such unforgivable sins. Let's see some of those fusion foods that I think are absolutely unnecessary and shouldn't exist on the face of the earth.

LEAVE OUR DOSAIS AND IDLIES ALONE

Dear food bloggers, it's a kind request from a humble Tamilian foodie to leave our dosais and idlies alone. Please don't put anything apart from oil or potato masala in our dosais in the name of invention. And what's a pizza dosa anyway? If you want to have a pizza, have a pizza. If you crave a dosa, please have one. But putting these two together is absolutely nonsense. And don't even get me talking about chocolate idlies. The only sweet version of an idly I have had is the classical olaiappam and I can't accept any other sweeter version of this dish whatsoever.

THE CONFUSING PIZZA-PASTA COMBINATION

I love pizzas. I love pasta. Give me any of these in any of the flavours, and I would happily have them. But never ever attempt to feed me a pasta pizza where a whole meal, which is the pasta, is served on top of another meal, which is pizza. Like, I don't really see the point. Don't they just cancel out each other, and you don't really get to enjoy any of them completely? Food enthusiasts, the Italians are watching you. Beware.

THE CHOCOLATE OBSESSION

No offence to anyone who loves chocolates with their whole beings. But don't you think adding chocolate to every existing food is just a stretch? The recent trends showing chocolate dosas, chocolate idlies, chocolate pani puri, and even chocolate momos are really dishonours to the originals. And you know what? There are even chocolate pizzas and samosas, if that is not enough. Gags!! I know even chocolates aren't spared, and you have spicy chocolates these days, which are a craze among influencers. But can we just draw a line between the flavours and maintain the watershed areas as they are? Chocolates are chocolates, and I love them once in a while. But never with dosas, momos and pani puris. 

SHOW SOME MERCY FOR MAGGI

Instant noodles have already taken the world by storm, especially Maggi. No one gives a damn about its lead content or the calories because it has saved many hostellers, bachelors and even families from starvation once in a while. I don't advise you to consume instant noodles, for that matter at all. But once in a while, it can quench that craving and any food taken in moderation should be okay. But why ruin that, too, in the name of invention? Open the Internet today, and you will find at least 40 types of Maggi inventions, including chocolate Maggi, Fanta Maggi, beer Maggi, Maggi milkshake, Maggi pani puri and whatnot. If you want to add some twist to instant noodles, toss in a few vegetables or other proteins like paneer, chicken, or eggs. You can also adjust the spice level according to your liking. But, for the love of God, Please leave Maggi out of these weird, obsessive habits.

THE BUTTER AND CHEESE BURNOUT

If there are a few food items that you absolutely need to keep in check, they are salt, sugar, and trans and saturated fatty acids. Every person should consume them in moderation to avoid the risk of coronary diseases. But whenever I go to YouTube seeking new recipes,  it's always loaded with people trying to stuff cheese and butter into anything and everything. The amount of stress cheese and butter are put into. It’s more than what Indian parents do to their kids. It's like a foreigner trying to fit in the Indian setup. For example, there is cheese dosa, cheese pani puri, and cheese paratha. Do you know the block size of the butter used for cooking fusion foods sometimes? It gives me a heart attack just by watching it and I wonder how people are surviving after. No, some of us don't want cheese this-and-that or kilos of butter in every dish. And most importantly, you shouldn't be having it, too, and shouldn't be encouraging such life-alarming recipes through your medium.

KINDLY SPARE THE SWEETS

I may be someone with less of a sweet tooth. But when it comes to food, I treat them all the same. For instance, just because I love savoury foods, I can't ignore the injustice that's happening to sweets. Who asked for a deep-fried ice cream and a gulab jamun pudding? Who would have thought of putting pieces of gulab jamun together on top of dosa or tossing it with masalas and have the guts to call it gulab jamun dosa and gulab jamun ka sabji? Why this weird obsession for food fusion that can never go together? It's like an arranged marriage between two incompatible individuals that would never work out. But why try it and flaunt it like a badge? Were you really enjoying these combinations behind the camera as much as you did on camera? For my life, I can't understand the theory behind these and would love to have them served in the regular original recipe like in the olden days.

Dear food fusionists, hear me out. If you are bored, please start experimenting with your life and leave our food alone. We want to have dosas, idlies, pani puris, chocolates and everything else as it is, and we are very much happy with them.

This post is a part of #BlogchatterFoodFest 2024

#penbooksandscalpel