THE MYSTERIOUS CASE OF REVERSE DRESS SHAMING!

Do you hate people judging you based on what you wear? Do you constantly feel the need to yell "shut up" in their faces but don't do so for whatever reason? Do you also keep to yourself and your loved ones because it's your personality, but people misread it as being subservient? Then this post is for all of us!

As someone who chose to embrace hijab even though I had a choice not to, it always amazes me when people make the wildest judgements about me. It doesn't matter if we know each other that well or not; they feel this intense urge to point out how "domestic" and "obedient" I am. Indians and their obsession with obedient women never fails to amuse me.

But dear stranger, please listen up. If we did not spend years together as friends biting each other's ears off with gossip and spending all our money on coffee and momo during late evenings, you don't know me a bit at all. There is an insane amount of difference between being an introvert and being shy and obedient. I, for that matter, am an extremely sensitive introvert. I am socially challenged to the point where I would prefer running down the aisle for hours to find that one packet of spice instead of asking for directions from the helper. And yes, I prefer to be kind than outwardly blunt, which means you might get most of the things you want to get done from me until I realise that I am being overrun. But in no way does that make me your "demure subservient" girl. 

On multiple occasions, my lack of interest in social gatherings was misjudged as being silent and respectful. Respectful and silent - that I will be when required because I wouldn't go out of my way to disrespect someone without any reason. But isn't that the basic? Isn't everyone that way? But why do they feel the need to term me "the good girl" for my "good behaviour"? There is absolutely no problem with it if they don’t try to equate good with tameable. Little do they know, it isn't my behaviour; it's just my lazy self trying to keep my social interaction to the minimum.

If you don't belong to my circle, you would definitely not have an ounce of idea of how much I resist speaking in public. You probably haven't seen me voicing out against the gender norms that are implied on women by society. You probably also have no idea that I fight internal misogyny within my family and society. Do you even know how much strength it takes to survive the turmoil of medical education? 

The very people who fight against the judgements passed on them for wearing what they want to wear term me an "obedient" girl the very moment they see my hijabi head peeping out the door. "Hey, do you read such books and write about such things? I couldn't have guessed." "What? Did you fight against the guy who tried to wrong us? You? Of all of us?" "You must be joking. You did what? With your hijab? Ha! Imagine you running a marathon with the black purdah and that thing covering your head!" "Girl, don't do it. It doesn't suit what you are wearing." These are some of the many things I had to hear just because I adorn my hijab with confidence. But let me tell you, as a first-generation surgeon... wait... I will make it even better - as a first-generation doctor, among all men and women from my entire generation combined, you think I didn't wage wars my entire life! 

No matter how much you have achieved or where you have reached in life, people think if you can’t dress or speak or behave like them, then you are oppressed. They fail to understand that it could have very well been your choice as well. While I am no one to judge anyone who wears what they like or behaves the way they want, I also have my reasons to dress the way I do. But if you are someone fighting against societal norms and judgements passed down by the misogynists and still proceed to call me "sister type", "homely girl", or "meekly docile creature" without knowing what I put my pen and scalpel to use to, then don't you see who the real misogynist there is?! 

This is a part of #Blogchatterhalfmarathon 

#penbooksandscalpel