A PRICE TO PAY

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After my suspension period was over, I was back to school as usual. The last few months have been me alternately in and out of school. It was one thing to go to school after so much drama at home. But it’s completely different to reenter as the girl who bullied her classmate and beat her down. There has been so much happening in my life that I almost forgot that this even happened once. 

 

Everyone looked at me as if I were an alien as I entered. I knew they gossiped and bad-mouthed about me to each other. Girls kept their distance, and boys didn't dare look my way. The teachers were judgemental, as always. Though it was all strange, it felt good to have that space. Not that I plan to repeat the mistake I did again. But this zone isn't bad, either. 

 


As I made my comeback silently, I noticed the complete disorder that had happened when I was not there. My seat wasn't vacant. It was occupied by Christy. Next to her was Nivi, followed by our other mutual friends. I scanned the classroom and found that there wasn't a place reserved for me which usually someone used to do. Maybe they weren't expecting me to return so soon, I thought. But as I walked down the aisle, I noticed no one was calling out to me to sit next to them. There was a deafening silence as I moved from one desk to another until I found a spot empty on the back. The last row. I hated it. I won't be able to hear or see anything from here with my height and eyesight. Yet, it was the only option left. But why was everyone staring at me like that? Yes, I understand I was wrong. But don't I deserve a little welcome, at least from my friends? But no. The entire room felt cold, and I crumbled under my own weight.

 

Or how can I conclude that it’s because of my behaviour and not because news has travelled about the recent happenings in my family and everyone has taken offence? But what am I to do about it? If that’s their problem, they must learn to deal with it just like I did. They weren’t in my hands to decide or change. But if it’s because of the former, I can promise to work on it. But only if they allow me to. I call out for Nivi, but she doesn’t budge. I wave at a couple of my other friends, but they give me a cold stare. They don’t stop with that. There’s a smirk on their faces like they know something. Random giggles erupt as they chat among themselves, and they are all directed towards me. Something they shouldn’t be knowing in the first place. I scan the faces, looking intently at me, and a sudden feel of terror takes over my body. A chill passes down my spine, reflecting the coldness of their looks. I have to find out what has gone wrong. This isn’t just because I broke Christy’s head or because my brother remarried. There’s something deeper, and it’s gnawing down my heart. 




This is a part of Blogchatter A2Z 2025

#penbooksandscalpel

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